If your heart is a system

If your heart is a system, then I will scan you to
find out which ports are open so there is no doubt when I
C: \> nc-l-o-v-e to your heart.

But I only dare to ping behind the anonymous proxy,
Is this love that makes me feel like a loser or
I am... the true losers!

If your heart is a system, I think I want to take advantage of your
vulnerabilities, using PHP injection. Then l ls-la; find /-perm
777-type d, so I know if there is a folder in your heart that can be
written or not or are there free space for me?
What I have to put backdor "Remote Connect-Back Shell", so I stay waiting for connection from you alone, let me not languish like this.
So I just have to wait for your connection alone and I don’t have to languish like this.

If your heart is a system and when all my requests are accepted,
I will continue waiting in the bugtraq to find your newest bug.
I'll keep patching and patching, keep your service and prevent the service from crashing.
I’ll be your firewall, install the port sentry and set your error page to “The page cannot be found because it is already owned by someone!”
I promise there is not going to be any malicious program
or service that hidden, because I really love and love you.


If your heart is a system, I don’t want to see this warning "You don’t have
the permissions to access it!" to pop-up, if you don’t want to be ping flood nor
DDos Attack. You have to be my soldier.

If your heart is a system ...

But unfortunately your heart is not a system, you are the prince in
my dream, which has messed my system!
People asked me what’s wrong?
I’ll said that I had been infected with a virus that immerses and no anti-virus can clean the virus except... you :)

Xoxo ;)

Ciao Cao!

Hey..

Bye..


That's actually what I want to write here. lol
I'm too lazy to write something in my blog this sem.
I have too many things to do and also I have another blog to keep update too.
Not a blog about my private life but a blog for my subjects which require me to post some things if you want your marks =.="


So ciao cao! XD

Jim Carrey's Official Website

Jim Carrey? *thoughtful* 0.o?
Who do not know him, a Canadian comedian that quite popular with his silly acting you can see in most of his movies and shows. How "weird" and "dare-in-doing-silly-stuff" he is. But, have you ever visit his website? His official website?

Follow this link to direct you to his web:
Jim Carrey's Official Website
P.S. It will open in a new window.

In this post I'll talked about his official website. Well, it might be interesting and also annoying at the same time. I must say the first time I saw his website I laughed out loud. It's so funny and kind of non-sense. It's like he don't really care about usability and other design priciples, guess when Norman see this he will go "tsk- tsk". But, I have to say this website of him really shows how Jim Carrey is. *approve*

Instead of being grumpy and pissed because it took me almost 2 hours figuring how to operate the website, I am pretty amused by the first sight and also the voices that greeted me. lol. It definetely have violated Norman's principles I have to say, and I think it violated almost all the principles. lol :P

First, I have to say that the affordance is violated, it just so argh.. unclear. lol
Not only me, as I showed it to some of my friends they all having a hard time figuring how to operate the web. The metaphors/pictures they use are just so random and un-predictable, that's why I said it have a poor visibility in design. *thoughtful*

Sometimes, when we click on the pict it start to talk then nothing happen. Some pictures are just moving but no action assigned to it. Sometimes random pictures of Jim pops up with his camera which I don't know what is that suppose to mean. The menu located below the site are as confusing as the metaphor as sometimes it works when you clicked it and sometimes it just don't (nothing happen when you click it). *thoughtful*

One that you may be able to figure out is the "twitter" metaphor, as you can see words by words keep coming out from the beak of a bird-with-jim's head. XD

Well, it may cause the user of the site get frustrated and decide to leave the site. But, for some of them that curious about this "interesting" site, they might choose to stay and explore more as in every few minutes, you'll sucked into a hole and then a new background just pop out again with different music as well. :D


Well, not much constraint, but wait.. I think it have too much constraint till the menu options can't seem to work. lol. :P

Apart from that it have pretty bad mapping as well, its like the picture are so messy they are everywhere, up, down, right ,left and yes in the corner and very top too! (I have to make it full screen, just to see it). o.O?

so, when you are free and like something that "wow", you may want to explore this site of Jim Carrey. :)


P.S. this is actually my forum task for my Human Computer Interaction (HCI) subject, but I find it interesting to share it here as well :D
So, enjoy! :D

Sparkle Tequila

Yo guys..
As I mentioned before, online shop.
So here it is, called 'Sparkle Tequila'.
Well, name is not really important. lol

I decided to put it on facebook, consider of some things like:
1. Lots of people are using FB now
2. I can just tag people or they can tag themselves
3. There will be a notification once an action is make
4. If somebody was asking the price or decide to buy it through comment, the others can see it too (So, I don't have to mention it again and again)
5. Well, at least I can see the who's ordering from me from their Facebook (Though there is a chance they use their fake account, still I receive payment on hand)

why I don't use blog instead?
1. I seldom open my blog
2. There is no such thing as notification here
3. It's harder to comment on and others may not know what FAQ people have been asking about.

So on, still many things, actually instead of blog, I thought of creating my own website(but idk lol, i'm not taking web authoring subj last sem), its kind of time consuming and i'm not that free anyway.
So, decision fall to facebook. :P

Here is the link.
http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/album.php?aid=2688&id=100001142350114&ref=mf

Enjoy shopping :P

Exam

Hi hi..

I was sitting and think that some people they don't understand me. Like some of my friends, they like to judge from what they heard and see without any confirmations.

Well, I'm okay with that, but sometimes is not that fun. Because no matter how you explained to them you are the one who seems wrong. =.="

Today I finally stepped on pyramid mall since last month i think. lol
You know I've been trapped in Monash these few days, studying for exams.
Well, i don't know how it would be without my friends: Fahim, Jayhan, Sam, etc.
They makes me laughed and feel distress when I stress because of studying.

Now that I have one more exam, I feel more relax.
Well, fight for this last exam on 25. :)
Good luck to everyone who have exam :D

Online shop

Yea, its been awhile since the last time I post something.
Well, I'm not sure what to talk about, coz i actually do not plan to write a blog today.
But, since I've already here. Let's talk about something..

Erm.. *think think*
Aha!
Yea, I actually going to do 'so-called-online-shopping*
Planning to sell some girl clothes.
So, stay tune for the info!
One think that stuck on my mind, I actually thinking of the shop name :P
Coz, remember that I have to have a name for my so-called-shop :P

so, if you have any suggestion. Just let me know :D
Here are some names I could thing of:
Sparkle, Sprinkle, E=Mc2..
Please DO tell me if you have a cool name. :B
My brain can't seems to generate a good name anymore.. :P

So, bye people :)

Do you know me?

Ok, I'm have so many thoughts in my mind today and I feel like typing it all out here..

People are sometimes complaining about the others and saying all the bad things.
Though in fact they do not know anything what they are talking about.
They are just simply judge others from whatever they see from the outside-look.
They said some heart-breaking words, being so harsh and said the never-expected words.
But, if you spend some times to know them better,sit with them, listen to them, etc, you may know the real them.

Some of them looks so tough, but they are actually so fragile.
And sometimes the other way around.
I saw some of my friend statuses which talking about what I discussing here. Most of them are saying that people mostly never know them. Ok, that's true, I don't say that's wrong..
Because I think the same way :P

So people don't judge people from it's cover. :)

Imperfectness

I know ain't nobody are perfect, including me..
Though we try so hard, there are always an imperfect part of us.
But, sometimes people tend to go over the limit which make the other annoyed with it.
I know my bad habits and I admit that.
But, sometimes I try not to makes the other getting involve in my imperfectness.
So if it's bad, I'm the one to blame.

I do not like to make the other feel bad for what I did.
But, some people are way too much.
They are so dependent on people, you know I can't stand to those who depends on me to much.
Some of them are so 'selfish', they want everything they want to be accomplished while they tend to ignore what I wanted.
Some of them tend to use some excuses like PMS.

Once again, nobody are perfect, we are all imperfect.
They are imperfect because they are like that and I am imperfect because I just can't really accept the fact they are.
We have different personalities and habits, hence we are meant to be together to complete each other.

I understand sometime people tend to be over-annoying, I might get so pissed off and if I try to be so childish, I'll probably just try to get what I want to.

Yea, I know we should fight for our right, but in some case we just have to give in.
Not trying to be the-wise-type-of-girl, but I try to think like the way grown-up people think and it made me feel better.

Because if nobody want to lose, how this world going to be?

Beautiful

I 'heart' this song, fell in love with it the first time I heard it.

Jim Brickman feat. Wayne Brady - Beautiful



If only someone sing it for me.. Hahaha
*dreaming*

Life is beautiful

Life is beautiful if you realize that is not about fast cars you have,
how rich you are or beautiful girlfriend/boyfriend you have and new gadgets that you got.
It's how you love people around you no matter how ugly or poor or black or white they are, how you respect the things around you, sharing what you got,
forgive each other and be thankful for what you got and every chances you have.

I think the world will be much better if everybody think the same way. :)

Life is beautiful if you appreciate every second of your life, coz it is so precious to be missed.

I <3 my life.
Thank you God for giving me an awesome family and great friends around me to support me.
Though there is a time when I'm done and nobody knows it, I'm so thankful for what I've got. :)

P.S. I don't know what wrong with me today, is it because my assignments side effects? or too stress? lol
But I feel like writing this and I hope you <3 and appreciate your life like what I did.

Frickin' asg!

So yea day become so intense :p
Lots of things to do yet so less time..
But,I kind of get use to it and adjust myself to this uni life.

Ok, I just submitted one of my assignment which is FIT2006 - Business Process and Data Modelling (if I not mistaken. lol) this noon.
So I feel like one of my burden is gone. :P

Talking about assignments (I always call it ass, so get use to it), I still have like 2. TWO man! N I haven't really start it yet. =.=

One of them is FIT2001 - System Analysis & Design (due: April 18,2010) and another one is FIT2055 - Web Content Management (due: April 19, 2010).

Well, I kind of freak-out. lol. Not really freak-out, it just there are lots of stuffs to read. Really, I'm not kidding. It's like these much *hands measuring*.

Most of subject I took this semester require me to read, read and read, though in fact I hate reading. :P

So, for the FIT2006 ass, I have read these much of journals.
FIT2055, this much of journals..
FIT2001, fortunately we just have to draw out the event table for this first assignment, n I am so relieve to hear that. lol

Yeh! Though I know the due date is close, very close in fact, I try to stick to my goal which is try to finish it before the deadline.
So, wish me luck! :D

xoxx

Telephone

Here I attached a 'weird' + 'funny' + 'stupid' + etc video to you..
Hope you enjoy it.. =.=

Lady Gaga - Telephone (Official Explicit Version) ft. Beyoncé






Stop telephoning me!!
I'm busy! :P

Untold things

YANG TIDAK BISA DIUCAPKAN AYAH"

Biasanya, bagi seorang anak perempuan yang sudah dewasa, yang sedang bekerja diperantauan, yang ikut suaminya merantau di luar kota atau luar negeri, yang sedang bersekolah atau kuliah jauh dari kedua orang tuanya.....Akan sering merasa kangen sekali dengan Mamanya..Lalu bagaimana dengan Papa?

Mungkin karena Mama lebih sering menelepon untuk menanyakan keadaanmu setiap hari,
tapi tahukah kamu, jika ternyata Papa-lah yang mengingatkan Mama untuk menelponmu?

Mungkin dulu sewaktu kamu kecil, Mama-lah yang lebih sering mengajakmu bercerita atau berdongeng, tapi tahukah kamu, bahwa sepulang Papa bekerja dan dengan wajah lelah Papa selalu menanyakan pada Mama tentang kabarmu dan apa yang kau lakukan seharian?

Pada saat dirimu masih seorang anak perempuan kecil......
Papa biasanya mengajari putri kecilnya naik sepeda.
Dan setelah Papa mengganggapmu bisa, Papa akan melepaskan roda bantu di sepedamu...
Kemudian Mama bilang : "Jangan dulu Papa, jangan dilepas dulu roda bantunya" ,
Mama takut putri manisnya terjatuh lalu terluka....

Tapi sadarkah kamu?
Bahwa Papa dengan yakin akan membiarkanmu, menatapmu, dan menjagamu mengayuh sepeda dengan seksama karena dia tahu putri kecilnya PASTI BISA.

Pada saat kamu menangis merengek meminta boneka atau mainan yang baru, Mama menatapmu iba.
Tetapi Papa akan mengatakan dengan tegas : "Boleh, kita beli nanti, tapi tidak sekarang"
Tahukah kamu, Papa melakukan itu karena Papa tidak ingin kamu menjadi anak yang manja dengan semua tuntutan yang selalu dapat dipenuhi?

Saat kamu sakit pilek, Papa yang terlalu khawatir sampai kadang sedikit membentak dengan berkata : "Sudah di bilang! kamu jangan minum air dingin!".
Berbeda dengan Mama yang memperhatikan dan menasihatimu dengan lembut.
Ketahuilah, saat itu Papa benar-benar mengkhawatirkan keadaanmu.

Ketika kamu sudah beranjak remaja.....
Kamu mulai menuntut pada Papa untuk dapat izin keluar malam, dan Papa bersikap tegas dan mengatakan: "Tidak boleh!". Tahukah kamu, bahwa Papa melakukan itu untuk menjagamu?
Karena bagi Papa, kamu adalah sesuatu yang sangat - sangat luar biasa berharga..
Setelah itu kamu marah pada Papa, dan masuk ke kamar sambil membanting pintu...
Dan yang datang mengetok pintu dan membujukmu agar tidak marah adalah Mama....
Tahukah kamu, bahwa saat itu Papa memejamkan matanya dan menahan gejolak dalam batinnya,
Bahwa Papa sangat ingin mengikuti keinginanmu, Tapi lagi-lagi dia HARUS menjagamu?

Ketika saat seorang cowok mulai sering menelponmu,
atau bahkan datang ke rumah untuk menemuimu,
Papa akan memasang wajah paling cool sedunia.... :')
Papa sesekali menguping atau mengintip saat kamu sedang ngobrol berdua di ruang tamu..
Sadarkah kamu, kalau hati Papa merasa cemburu?

Saat kamu mulai lebih dipercaya, dan Papa melonggarkan sedikit peraturan untuk keluar rumah untukmu, kamu akan memaksa untuk melanggar jam malamnya.
Maka yang dilakukan Papa adalah duduk di ruang tamu, dan menunggumu pulang dengan hati yang sangat khawatir... Dan setelah perasaan khawatir itu berlarut - larut...
Ketika melihat putri kecilnya pulang larut malam hati Papa akan mengeras dan Papa memarahimu.. .
Sadarkah kamu, bahwa ini karena hal yang di sangat ditakuti Papa akan segera datang?
"Bahwa putri kecilnya akan segera pergi meninggalkan Papa"

Setelah lulus SMA, Papa akan sedikit memaksamu untuk menjadi seorang Dokter atau Insinyur.
Ketahuilah, bahwa seluruh paksaan yang dilakukan Papa itu semata - mata hanya karena memikirkan masa depanmu nanti... Tapi toh Papa tetap tersenyum dan mendukungmu saat pilihanmu tidak sesuai dengan keinginan Papa

Ketika kamu menjadi gadis dewasa....
Dan kamu harus pergi kuliah dikota lain...
Papa harus melepasmu di bandara.
Tahukah kamu bahwa badan Papa terasa kaku untuk memelukmu?
Papa hanya tersenyum sambil memberi nasehat ini - itu, dan menyuruhmu untuk berhati-hati. .
Padahal Papa ingin sekali menangis seperti Mama dan memelukmu erat-erat.
Yang Papa lakukan hanya menghapus sedikit air mata di sudut matanya, dan menepuk pundakmu berkata "Jaga dirimu baik-baik ya sayang".
Papa melakukan itu semua agar kamu KUAT....kuat untuk pergi dan menjadi dewasa.

Disaat kamu butuh uang untuk membiayai uang semester dan kehidupanmu, orang pertama yang mengerutkan kening adalah Papa.
Papa pasti berusaha keras mencari jalan agar anaknya bisa merasa sama dengan teman-temannya yang lain.
Ketika permintaanmu bukan lagi sekedar meminta boneka baru, dan Papa tahu ia tidak bisa memberikan yang kamu inginkan...
Kata-kata yang keluar dari mulut Papa adalah : "Tidak.... Tidak bisa!"
Padahal dalam batin Papa, Ia sangat ingin mengatakan "Iya sayang, nanti Papa belikan untukmu".
Tahukah kamu bahwa pada saat itu Papa merasa gagal membuat anaknya tersenyum?

Saatnya kamu diwisuda sebagai seorang sarjana.
Papa adalah orang pertama yang berdiri dan memberi tepuk tangan untukmu.
Papa akan tersenyum dengan bangga dan puas melihat "putri kecilnya yang tidak manja berhasil tumbuh dewasa, dan telah menjadi seseorang"

Sampai saat seorang teman Lelakimu datang ke rumah dan meminta izin pada Papa untuk mengambilmu darinya.
Papa akan sangat berhati-hati memberikan izin..
Karena Papa tahu.....
Bahwa lelaki itulah yang akan menggantikan posisinya nanti.

Dan akhirnya....

Saat Papa melihatmu duduk di Panggung Pelaminan bersama seseorang Lelaki yang di anggapnya pantas menggantikannya, Papa pun tersenyum bahagia....
Apakah kamu mengetahui, di hari yang bahagia itu Papa pergi kebelakang panggung sebentar, dan menangis?
Papa menangis karena papa sangat berbahagia, kemudian Papa berdoa....
Dalam lirih doanya kepada Tuhan, Papa berkata: "Ya Tuhan tugasku telah selesai dengan baik....
Putri kecilku yang lucu dan kucintai telah menjadi wanita yang cantik....
Bahagiakanlah ia bersama suaminya..."

Setelah itu Papa hanya bisa menunggu kedatanganmu bersama cucu-cucunya yang sesekali datang untuk menjenguk...
Dengan rambut yang telah dan semakin memutih....
Dan badan serta lengan yang tak lagi kuat untuk menjagamu dari bahaya....
Papa telah menyelesaikan tugasnya....

Papa, Ayah, Bapak, atau Abah kita...
Adalah sosok yang harus selalu terlihat kuat...
Bahkan ketika dia tidak kuat untuk tidak menangis...
Dia harus terlihat tegas bahkan saat dia ingin memanjakanmu. .
Dan dia adalah yang orang pertama yang selalu yakin bahwa "KAMU BISA" dalam segala hal..

Aku mendapatkan notes ini dari seorang teman, dan mungkin ada baiknya jika aku kembali membagikannya kepada teman-teman ku yang lain.

Tulisan ini aku dedikasikan kepada teman-teman wanita ku yang cantik, yang kini sudah berubah menjadi wanita dewasa serta ANGGUN, dan juga untuk teman-teman pria ku yang sudah ataupun akan menjadi ayah yang HEBAT !

Yup, banyak hal yang mungkin tidak bisa dikatakan Ayah / Bapak / Romo / Papa / Papi kita... tapi setidaknya kini kita mengerti apa yang tersembunyi dibalik hatinya

Monash Cultural Night

Hey yea.. XD

Im'ma back..
So the latest news is that I decided to join the fashion show audition for 'Monash Cultural Night 2010' and guess what I'm in.. :P
So I was kind of freak-out when I'm in.. lol

Well, I never have a 'real' and 'proper' competition yet regarding fashion show.
I told my mom that I was thinking to join the singing audition and my mom was like ok..
Then, I told her, I also want to take a part at the fashion show audition, she was like.

"WHAaaaTTt?! R u serious? I'm still quite confident when you said singing, coz you've been performed before. But fashion show? lol. You never been in any fashion show competition bfr......." (and plus I guess my mom thought I always walk like a guy) lol.

Then, I said the audition is today (It was 3pm when I called her), March 19th @ 5PM , which was my 19th birthday :)
"Have you practice and prepare your self?" she asked.
"Erm.. Nope, I was thinking to practice later after this phone call. :P"
"What? lol.. "
"lol. Well, this is just for fun."
"Yea, if win got experience, if lose got 'malu' (be embarrassed). lol"

So that was our conversation. lol

Then, I was in the room n they told me, "You're very good, we definitely want to take you. Can you dance? bla bla bla.... "
lol, never crossed my mind, they will said anything like that, ah.. I was so flattering. :P

I walked the room and trying hard not to show what I felt, I was like 'aaaaaa.... XD lol
Then, informed my mom, she said "lol. Really? Good then. You see there's always a surprise on your b'day, remember last time few years ago? You joined 'BINTANG PELAJAR' on march 19th & you passed the audition and get into the 20th finalists. The next year on March 19th as well, you join 'Miss Indonesia' & you're in as a finalist. And now? :) "

So, here I am representing Indonesia country, my own country..
Was planning to borrow the clothes from KBRI (Kedutaan Besar Republik Indonesia) in Kuala Lumpur.
So, Wish Me luck! :D

blah blah blah

Well, I was thinking to write something bout my birthday.
But, I guess I just have nothing to write and guess it's not interesting at all..
Just wait till I have the mood to write it. :)

LOVE

I saw this poem from my friend's blog.
So, I decided to copy and paste it here, coz it's too nice to be missed. :P

LOVE - A poem from Khalil Gibran

kenapa kita menutup mata ketika kita tidur?
ketika kita menangis?
ketika kita membayangkan?
itu karena hal terindah di dunia tdk terlihat

ketika kita menemukan seseorang yang
keunikannya sejalan dengan kita, kita bergabung
dengannya dan jatuh ke dalam suatu keanehan
serupa yang dinamakan cinta.

Ada hal2 yang tidak ingin kita lepaskan,
seseorang yang tidak ingin kita tinggalkan,
tapi melepaskan bukan akhir dari dunia,
melainkan suatu awal kehidupan baru,
kebahagiaan ada untuk mereka yang tersakiti,
mereka yang telah dan tengah mencari dan
mereka yang telah mencoba.
karena merekalah yang bisa menghargai betapa
pentingnya orang yang telah menyentuh kehidupan
mereka.

Cinta yang sebenarnya adalah ketika kamu
menitikan air mata dan masih peduli terhadapnya,
adalah ketika dia tidak memperdulikanmu dan
kamu masih menunggunya dengan setia.

Adalah ketika di mulai mencintai orang lain dan
kamu masih bisa tersenyum dan berkata
” aku turut berbahagia untukmu ”

Apabila cinta tidak bertemu bebaskan dirimu,
biarkan hatimu kembalike alam bebas lagi.
kau mungkin menyadari, bahwa kamu menemukan
cinta dan kehilangannya, tapi ketika cinta itu mati
kamu tidak perlu mati bersama cinta itu.

Orang yang bahagia bukanlah mereka yang selalu
mendapatkan keinginannya, melainkan mereka
yang tetap bangkit ketika mereka jatuh, entah
bagaimana dalam perjalanan kehidupan.
kamu belajar lebih banyak tentang dirimu sendiri
dan menyadari bahwa penyesalan tidak
seharusnya ada, cintamu akan tetap di hatinya
sebagai penghargaan abadi atas pilihan2 hidup
yang telah kau buat.

Teman sejati, mengerti ketika kamu berkata ” aku
lupa ….”
menunggu selamanya ketika kamu berkata ”
tunggu sebentar ”
tetap tinggal ketika kamu berkata ” tinggalkan aku
sendiri ”
mebuka pintu meski kamu belum mengetuk dan
belum berkata ” bolehkah saya masuk ? ”
mencintai juga bukanlah bagaimana kamu
melupakan dia bila ia berbuat kesalahan,
melainkan bagaimana kamu memaafkan.

Bukanlah bagaimana kamu mendengarkan,
melainkan bagaimana kamu mengerti.
bukanlah apa yang kamu lihat, melainkan apa
yang kamu rasa,
bukanlah bagaimana kamu melepaskan melainkan
bagaimana kamu bertahan.

Mungkin akan tiba saatnya di mana kamu harus
berhenti mencintai seseorang, bukan karena orang
itu berhenti mencintai kita melainkan karena kita
menyadari bahwa orang iu akan lebih berbahagia
apabila kita melepaskannya.

kadangkala, orang yang paling mencintaimu adalah
orang yang tak pernah menyatakan cinta
kepadamu, karena takut kau berpaling dan
memberi jarak, dan bila suatu saat pergi, kau akan
menyadari bahwa dia adalah cinta yang tak kau
sadari


Taken from http://www.puisi.org/2008/02/28/cinta-sebuah-karya-dari-khalil-gibran/

Entertaiment

I know it's been ages since the last time I post something.. :P

K, so here's the song that I currently in love with..
Go ahead and listen to it..
It's I think soothing and relaxing.. :D
And don't you think it sounds a lil' bit sexy? lol


Meant to be - Late Night Alumni




Sunrise comes too soon - Late Night Alumni



And there're another videos that I've watching the whole day.
It's a make up tutorial videos.
Here are some of the cool one.. :D

Seductive Smokey Eyes Tutorial




Seductive Vampire




Aurora Eyes



and many more...
I can't post all of them here..
I guess you can just take a look on it by yourself. :)