Another facts..

Okay, Its 5:04 am now and I can't sleep

I try to close my eyes, but still.. I can't sleep..

I don't know why, i fell like there are something in my heart and it make me uncomfortable..

It was around 3 am and even I close my eyes, I can't sleep, normally I'll fall asleep after a hour

So, I woke up and take my 'CIMP SEMESTER YEARBOOK'

I opened it from the very first page till the last page and I just keep smiling seeing all silly things that we've done

Then, I try to back to sleep again, but I still can't sleep, now I know why I can't sleep

I guess it's because I scare to lose all my lecturer and friends in CIMP.

I don't want to lose them, I love them..

I know, it may be silly and stupid, but I cry..

When I finally realized that I scare to lose them, my tears started to drop

There are few records that I make today:
1. After for about 2 years, I finally cry (really" crying) and if y'know that I'm not a person that easily to cry..

2. I haven't sleep yet, even it's 5:54 am now.. (I never sleep this late bfr, the latest is 5 am)

3. This is the first time I scare to lose something or people (beside my nuclear family)
Before this, I never ever miss or sad when I left / withdraw from my schools and even my
high school, where people said is the nicest period in school..
I never cry because of this thing, used to, I thought it was stupid and there are no such thing to cry for..

Back to the past:
In my kindergarden and my primary high school, there are nothin special (maybe it was because I still young and did not know anything).

In my Junior high school, it just the same, nothing special, just a normal, instead I just remembered the suck things..

In Senior high school, maybe as I grew, I become more brave and create a new personality that made me open minded, dare to do new things and to accept any challenges. I did cheat and I thinks its normal, if you said that you never cheat, you're lying (glancing at opposite gender during class also consider cheating, y'know).

In this period, I have some problems with all my languages teacher. From my Indonesian, Mandarin till my English language teacher. But, there is one teacher that created a deep scratch in my heart. For the first time in my life, my mandarin teacher made me cry, cry in the front of my classmates. She was so mean to me, till I felt so angry, but I tried to resist it,till my tears dropped, the tears of anger.. I will never ever forgot what she had done to me ever untill the rest of my life..

4. I cried for about 2 hours, because I enjoy CIMP and it's the 1st period of my education that I think is cool..

5. CIMP is the first period of education time that give me a lot of smile, fun, happiness.
I cried, smile, loved, happy and sad.. I just don't want to withdraw from this feeling and friends. Most of my friends are from different countries, so after graduate they may not be
around..

It's 6 am now and I'll try to close my eyes.

I want to sleep, I starting feel sleepy and my eyes can't stand anymore..